Why We Need Each Other: Creating Community in the Fourth Trimester

There’s something magical that happens when you put a group of Mums with young babies in a room together with tea, tiffin, and no agenda.

They talk. They laugh. They share the unfiltered truth of their days. They normalise each other’s experiences. They stop feeling quite so alone.

This is exactly what I hoped would happen when I started the Mama & Baby Cafe, but watching it unfold each month still fills my heart in ways I didn’t expect.

How It Used to Be

Years ago, these organic gatherings happened naturally. Sure Start centres buzzed with parents and babies. You could turn up at clinic to get your baby weighed without booking three weeks in advance, and afterwards, you’d hang around for a brew and a chinwag. No pressure, no judgment, just people in the same season of life, muddling through together.

When my own babies were small, I lived in army accommodation hundreds of miles from my family and friends. My husband’s military commitments often meant weeks or months as a sole parent, navigating the intensity of early motherhood essentially alone.

But here’s what saved me: other army wives in exactly the same situation. We literally got each other through those lonely, isolating times. We set up ‘tea and toys’ groups and prioritised meeting up for a cup of tea, sitting down with others who understood without you having to explain. We created our own village because we had to.

I wanted to recreate something similar.

The Evidence is Clear

Research consistently shows that social connection during the postnatal period is protective for maternal mental health and wellbeing. Peer support groups significantly reduce feelings of isolation and anxiety in new mothers, whilst improving confidence and parenting self-efficacy.

The power isn’t just in receiving expert advice - it’s in the shared experience. When you hear another mother describe the exact exhaustion you’re feeling or the feeding challenge you’re navigating, something shifts. You realise you’re not failing. You’re not alone. You’re just being a mother to a newborn, and it’s meant to be this intense.

Studies have also shown that group-based postnatal support can be as effective as one-to-one interventions for improving maternal wellbeing, with the added benefit of reducing social isolation - something that affects up to 1 in 4 new mums in the UK.

What I’m Seeing Unfold

At our November cafe, I had a moment of concern when I looked around the fairly full room. I worried I wasn’t getting round to everyone, that people might have questions I hadn’t answered.

Then I actually watched what was happening.

They were all talking to each other. Sharing experiences. Offering reassurance. Comparing notes on sleep (or lack thereof). Laughing about the chaos of leaving the house with a newborn. Someone was cuddling a baby whilst their mum enjoyed a hot cup of tea with both hands.

And I realised: this is exactly what I’d hoped for. I’m there to facilitate the space and provide evidence-based information when needed. The community is building itself.

What Happens at Mama & Baby Cafe

If you’ve not been along yet, here’s what to expect:

• A warm welcome and hot drinks

• Libby’s famous tiffin (it really is as good as everyone says)

• Baby weighing available if you’d like - completely optional

• Gentle chat and connection with other mamas

• Me, on hand as an experienced midwife and IBCLC, available for any questions

• No bookings, no expectations, no pressure

It’s deliberately flexible because life with a newborn is unpredictable. Some days you’ll feel up to coming. Other days you won’t. Both are absolutely fine.

And if you don’t feel up to asking me a question at the cafe, or if something comes up afterwards, you can always DM me on Instagram or WhatsApp and I’ll respond as soon as possible 🩶

We Need Each Other

Here’s what I’ve learned over 16 years as a midwife, and as a mother myself: we’re not meant to do this alone.

We evolved to raise children in community, with support and shared wisdom flowing between generations and peers. Modern life has fractured many of those natural support systems. Families live far apart. The spaces where informal gathering used to happen have closed or require advanced booking.

But the need for connection hasn’t gone anywhere.

So we create new villages. New spaces. New ways of holding each other through the intensity and beauty of early motherhood.

Join Us

Our next gathering is:

Tuesday 16th December, 10am-11:45am at The Walled Garden Workshop (rear of Libby’s of Chesterfield, Chatsworth Road)

Perfect for babies under 7 months. No booking needed, although I’d love you to give me the heads up if you do know you’re coming. 

If December doesn’t work, we’ll be back in January, and beyond. This little community is here to stay.

Because mothers need each other. Babies thrive when their mothers are supported. And sometimes, the most healing thing is simply sitting with someone who understands, with a cup of tea and a piece of tiffin, knowing you’re not alone.

I can’t wait to see you there.

Sally