Getting to know your baby before they arrive

How to build a beautiful bond with your baby from the second trimester

One of my very favourite conversations to have at the 16-week appointment is this one. Because by now, your pregnancy is feeling more real. The first trimester worry is hopefully beginning to ease, your bump may just be starting to show, and it's the perfect moment to begin thinking about your baby not just as a pregnancy, but as a little person.

And here's the thing that never ceases to amaze me after all my years as a midwife: your baby already knows you. Not in the way they will at six months old, reaching for your face and breaking your heart with their smile. But in a quieter, more instinctive way. They know the rhythm of your body, the sound of your heartbeat, and they are already beginning to hear your voice.

Your baby can hear from around 16 weeks

From around 16 weeks of pregnancy, your baby's ears are developing and they can begin to pick up on sounds. At first, these are mostly the internal sounds of your body, your heartbeat, your digestive system, the whoosh of blood through the umbilical cord. But your voice is in there too, resonating through your body and reaching your baby in a way that no other sound quite does.

By around 18 weeks, the internal auditory system is almost fully developed. By 25 to 28 weeks, your baby may actually start responding to familiar sounds by moving, and research has found that newborns can recognise their mother's voice from birth, because they've been listening to it for months. That's not just lovely, it's genuinely remarkable.

So what does this mean for you right now? It means that talking to your bump isn't silly. It isn't something to feel self-conscious about. It is one of the most natural and nurturing things you can do.

 

Giving your baby a pet name

Something I always encourage families to think about at this stage is giving their baby a little name before they arrive. It might be something that relates to the pregnancy, a nickname based on a scan photo, something silly that made you laugh, or simply a term of endearment that feels natural.

It doesn't have to be meaningful to anyone other than you. Plenty of my families have had bumps called Bean, Peanut, Squidge, or something wonderfully specific to their story. The name doesn't matter. What matters is that it gives you a way of addressing your baby directly, of speaking to them as the little individual they already are.

Partners can feel a little more removed from the pregnancy at this stage, and this is a lovely way to bring them in. Encourage your birth partner to talk to the bump, to use the pet name, to read a story or sing a song. Your baby will hear their voice too, and research suggests that by the third trimester, babies can recognise the voices of both parents.

Simple things you can do to connect with your baby

• Talk to your bump - it doesn't matter what you say. Narrate your day, tell them about your morning, describe what you're cooking for dinner. The words aren't the point. Your voice is.

• Sing - singing is one of the loveliest things you can do. Your baby hears the melody and rhythm even more clearly than the words, and a song sung regularly during pregnancy can be genuinely soothing for a newborn. If you have a song in mind for the birth, or a lullaby you want to use, start singing it now.

• Play music - if you enjoy music, let your baby enjoy it with you. There's no need for anything specifically designed for babies. Simply living your life with music playing is enough. Some people find that their baby becomes particularly active with certain songs, which is a wonderful early sign of their personality.

• Rest with your hand on your bump - something as simple as resting quietly with your hands on your bump and focusing on your baby can feel surprisingly powerful. Many people find this a really helpful mindfulness practice during pregnancy, and it's something I encourage in my mindful birth preparation work too.

• Read aloud - if you enjoy reading, read to your baby. Any book will do. The story isn't for them yet, but the sound of your voice, calm and steady and close, absolutely is.

On bonding, and letting it be what it is

I want to say something gently here, because it's important. Not everyone falls in love with their pregnancy immediately, and not everyone feels an instant rush of connection with their bump. That is completely normal, and it doesn't say anything about the kind of parent you will be.

Bonding can take time. For some people it happens at the first scan. For others it happens when they first feel movement, or at the birth, or in the days and weeks that follow. There is no right timeline, and there is no wrong way to feel.

But if you're in that in-between space, where you want to feel connected but aren't quite sure how, these small, gentle practices can help. Not because they force a feeling, but because they create the conditions for one.

As always, if you have any questions or anything you'd like to talk through, please don't hesitate to get in touch. That's what I'm here for.

Sally x

Sally Goodwin RM, MSc, IBCLC | Sally Goodwin Private Midwifery | North East Derbyshire, South Yorkshire and the East Midlands

This blog is written for information and to support the families in my care. It does not replace individual clinical advice. Please speak with your midwife or healthcare provider if you have any concerns.

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About The Author

Sally Goodwin is an award winning Midwife and founder of Sally Goodwin Private Midwifery Services. With over 18 years of experience as a midwife, Sally has had the privilege of supporting countless women and families through their pregnancy, birth, and early parenthood journeys. ​

Sally offers a compassionate and holistic private midwifery service, offering tailored care for parents-to-be in the East Midlands and South Yorkshire. From single appointments to full birth packages, providing expert support for pregnancy, birth, and beyond. Plus specialist care in lactation & tongue-tie release. Sally also runs the Mama & Baby Café in Chesterfield.

When she's not helping new parents and their babies, she's often found walking the Rupert the dog (and recording reels), being Mum to three grown up kids and Nana to two Grandies!

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